Today was good. Started off very tired, and waking up late for school, but eventually I got there.

After returning home, I quickly made plans after realizing I didn’t have to work. Abbi came over today, introduced her to my family, first time for her meeting them, and vice versa. It was fun, went to the mall, got some bourbon chicken, and hung out.

I admitted to her I had another ciggarette, I felt really bad about it after seeing her face, she seemed so disapointed. Very good inspiration to quit though, I never want to see her hurt like that again.

I’m so confused at this point, quitting smoking is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. This is about my 9th try atleast, I’m sure. I feel so alone in my struggle, I can get cigarettes almost any time of day I want, for incredibly cheap, it’s hard to say no when they’re right there in front of you.

I was proud of myself though, the other day I threw my pack out of the window while I was driving, but only to later buy that one more I had. I suppose smoking is one of those little things that I should be concerned with, when compared to some of the larger aspects of life.

I have about 3-6 months left before I need to start thinking of what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’d like to go to college, but I’ve never been a good student, and my GPA is not the greatest. I’m thinking of a military career, reserves or something perhaps, something to keep me busy and get me additional help to educational and financial issues that I will be having in what seems like so soon. I have been doing better in school as of late, but two and a half years of doing just the opposite takes a toll on your future. Perhaps I should just not worry about it until the time comes, that’s always been my way of life, procrastination unless motivated.

I hope it doesn’t come down to that, but sitting here writing to myself and the online world isn’t going to solve any of my problems at this point in time. Therefore, goodnight blog, I’ll post more when I get any further with my plans.