Fembuelita

My journey from femboy twink to hot lesbian grandma

Their way or the highway

Talk about taking it in the back. Seriously. –Allow me to elaborate. Since I have “come out” (“again”), I’ve received a lot of mixed responses. What’s ironic about these responses, though, is that 98% of the “straight” people whom I’ve told have been very, very encouraging and accepting; whereas when I came out the first time, it was rather very opposite. Interestingly enough, when it comes to the gay community, I repeat: put it in the back.

I feel that’s exactly where they are placing their daggers of emotional poison. These daggers instead of killing you warp you into an outcast.

So I’ve always been a little iffy on the whole “bisexuality” thing. I would call them fenceriders, I’d tell them they just can’t handle society being against them for their own sexual preference. I was a jerk to them. (Hello, my name is Karma!) I even was dumped by a guy for a woman not even 2 months ago, and I left him some pretty mean messages over it for being himself, because I did not understand.

Haha. Karma, you’re a bitch.

So, here I am, coming out as Elliott, who likes people for themselves, not for their genders. You know, a person is amazing if they are amazing. If you happen to also be attracted to them, then great. Just be with who makes you happy. Anyway, I digress.

I’ve had so many of my gay and lesbian friends turn on me for this. It’s getting ridiculous. Okay, people, I understand where you are coming from: You think that I’m betraying you; you think I’m insulting you; you think I’m confused and going through a phase….well you know what? As a friend of mine put it, the gay movement is about equal rights for everybody, and about discovering your own identity. Not fitting into some stereotypical embodiment that is portrayed by the media on Will and Grace. Seriously, when people come out don’t they usually become a little more enlightened by seeing all the hatred and mistreatment? Haven’t you all experienced what it’s like to not be accepted? Why would you cast that shadow of disapproval unto someone else? As reality sets in, I’m quite perturbed by this. I have spent so much time of my life fighting and working for the gay movement, and the moment I start to accept myself completely is the moment I’m shunned.

I won’t lie, I’m kind of pissed off about this. At one point in my life, I think I would have been hurt, but for better or worse I can say that I have experienced a vast multitude of people whom have not accepted me for whom I am–friends included. What bothers me is the fact that the people who are turning on me now are the people who I never would have expected them to be so resenting. I don’t know why I’m letting it bother me so much. It’s just infuriating to think though that the very people who complain so much (and believe me, I can very certainly vouch for just how much gay people complain about this topic) in regard to equal rights and being accepted and equal treatment, the very same people, they live in their mighty fortresses and look down upon others just as others have done to them. Yet somehow, because they’re different in a better manner than I am, this deems their behavior and attitude proper and acceptable?

Well, to all of you haters out there, I could think of words for you, but I think I’ll leave it summed up at “your own fucking loss.”


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3 responses to “Their way or the highway”

  1. Fucking Bitch

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  2. Erin,Let me start off by saying that I have never once supported nor claimed that Kassie converted me. Kassie is amazing and hence forth I fell for her. I can't begin to understand how it developed myself, let alone try to explain to someone else. However, regardless if I understand it, it is what it is and she and I are both happy with it. Why is this such a problem for everyone? You and Greg are both putting a strain and quite frankly stirring up too much drama for my liking hence the removal. Have you ever considered that you're not the one who's suddenly had the one thing they were sure of in their life thrown in complete flux? This is challenging for me enough already without my friends attacking me for it. I am 'nonchalant' about it because I am that type of person who deals with stress by just not worrying about it. It wasn't so much of a nonchalant thing though when I had to relive the paranoia that is ensued with coming out for a SECOND time, but my experience from the first has helped me cope and just accept who I am. You know just as well as I do how hard it is and how damaging it can be to neglect a part of yourself after you discovered it. I don't understand why you and others can't see that this has been difficult?Also, this has been difficult for kassie because she is being put in a spot between choosing her boyfriend or her best friends. If you and greg would stop being so angry and defensive about everything maybe we could have a rational conversation about all of this, but from the start you guys have been very abrasive towards the situation. In regard to autumn, she is her own person. She makes her own choices so don't go blaming me for her trying to reconnect with you. That's your own issue to deal with her on, not me. Autumn has been a close friend for a long time now. She is part of my life, and I shouldn't be put in a spot where I have to hide that for your sake. So deal with yours and her issues where they belong: with the two of you.I haven't contacted you any less than you have me since you moved. We brought it to your attention because you were the one who introduced us! We expected you to be confused like everyone else and we would have been happy to explain but you were so close minded from the start how could we?Its interesting you say that EVERYONE says that about us because we've only been out with her friends once since we started dating. Its further interesting that there were only a few of her friends were out that night. Regarding flaunting it, it was a big change for me and exciting for the both of us. Of course were going to announce it to our friends. The kasselly thing is a joke regarding the picture where someone tagged a picture of me as kassie. Jeeze!I like you a lot and have always liked greg also, but from the start you guys haven't given me a chance. If your confused honestly I'd love to talk to you both about it, but only if you're going to be respectful about it.-elliott

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  3. so self righteous elliott. but you have no respect for the friends you have whom you insulted greatly by flaunting continuously your new relationship and the fact that “Kassie turned you!”.. when some of us have to put up with on a regular basis people saying we're not really gay, just haven't met the “right guy” yet, etc. just because we don't fit the gay stereotype. I didn't insult you. I told you why it was offensive to me. Then you delete me. Do you know what else really fucking bothers me? That you are going to my best friends and introducing my ex girlfriend whom I never want to see, talk to or hear of again. So now whenever I go on facebook I have to see Autumn's name all over the damn place. I mean I could see if you and Kassie had been together a long time or something but you really haven't, you haven't even known each other very long!! It's not like Kassie's just an acquaintance she's a really good friend of mine. I want my life to be separate from my exes. Now she's friend requesting me and wanting to “reconnect” and I don't fucking want to reconnect. I don't want to see or talk to her or anything. So really. Thanks for that.you aren't understanding that no one is mad that you're not gay. maybe you were confused. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but it seems like you both really want attention for this which makes it much less genuine. as separate people, I adore the both of you. but this “kasselly” thing is downright ridiculous. If you aren't your own people anymore what's the point? obviously all you need is each other, anyway. It's not fun hanging out with or talking to people who are so all over each other all the time. Which, I haven't had to see except on Facebook, but everyone.. EVERYONE says that. I mean when people don't even want to be around you when you're together, it's pretty bad.You've always been a good friend to me Elliott, and I miss you, but you're not even the same person now.. neither is Kassie.. you've, like, merged or something into this self-obsessed being. So when the excitement of a new relationship wears off, and you want to see me because you actually do miss me, and not just because you want to show off how happy you are together, then great. Call me. but I never heard from you or Kassie before you wanted to broadcast this news to me, which, well is more than a little insulting.

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