So I’m writing a lot today because I’ve got a lot on my mind today.

You see, Ryan and I just broke up on Saturday. Saturday night of November 29, 2008. When we came to the decision, I was heart broken, depressed, and so relieved the time had finally come where we could mutually come to this decision not because of a fight we had, but because of talking about our feelings with each other, finally, instead of yelling at each other about them.

It was a nice change to do that, for sure. I felt like we truly connected that evening when the decision was made to lose the title of boyfriends and replace it with best friends. I love him, a lot. Honestly, I know I’ve spoken of love in so many of these posts before, each time having a new meaning it seems. When I was with Greg, from the first day we were dating I “loved” him. When I was dating Abbi, I “loved” her. Zoe, Sam, the other Ryan too. All “loved.” Greg is the only one whom I could say that it was actually true for. Though I don’t believe that the first time I told Greg I loved him that I truly meant it, I do know that I do love him today for helping me come out of the closet, for being there for me during it, and for staying with me after it, even as I was breaking his heart.

Ryan is just coming home, actually…I’m going to talk to him and then post again later… Sorry to leave you hanging.