Ever have one of those days where you just can’t seem to catch a break? Not in the sense it’s a bad day, but you just time have time to do anything, because you’re schedule is that booked? I’m sure you have, we all have. I got thinking while I was doing last minute cleaning preperations at work tonight, cleaning for this huge inspection we have tommorow for the theatre I work at (Crossroads). (Which by the way I hope goes very well, as several others and myself have put A LOT of effort into restoring Crossroads to a cleansed state..)

But yeah, as I was saying, I got thinking: is it better to be so busy you don’t have time to sit down and analyse your life, finding your ups and downs, and comparing them to eachother? Or to have so much free time, and you always have the thoughts on your mind that you’re wasting your time, not just in general but in life itself?

I don’t know. Does it matter? Perhaps not. I feel today as if I am overwhelmed with my tasks to do, and my stress levels are skyrocketing. It doesn’t help, I’m trying really hard to quit smoking, and I’m quite addicted. Not to the extent of a chain smoker level, but a pack every 2-3 days. I don’t know where to go to for help – my friends have lost their faith in my quitting, if my mom even found out she’d ground me for who knows how long, not that it would make any difference to her if I was quitting or not. My girlfriend Abbi is the only support it seems I have, outside of a few supportive friends online….

…I can’t, I can’t rant anymore, I’ll make myself sick listening to myself whine, I need to learn how to move on with issues in my life, and get past the every day stress and drama that seems to torment at us daily, like a needle pricking you ever so slightly every time you can’t feel it anymore.

I need help, I know. “Where from?” That, is the question.